In counseling, both parties learn - both the user and the counselor. The statements and thoughts of our users encourage us to think about them, to grasp the cause from all perspectives and to try to help those who are afraid to enter the counseling process and are troubled by similar concerns. We want to be and stay CLOSE!
"Hurt people hurt other people."
In counseling, we often hear difficult life stories. Sometimes they are only part of the past periods from which the person came out stronger or only partially affected, and sometimes these stories take place during the entire work process. And that is not at all easy because a person sometimes feels helpless in such circumstances.
Injured people carry their traumas, complaints, frustrations and pains of life. Maybe they don't know how to process them and get them out of themselves, and maybe they don't want to. With such "broken hearts", hurt people often project their problems onto others, and these others are often not the ones who hurt them, but those who want to help them. At the same time, they don't even know how to accept help from others because they think that they are not worthy of love and that no one can even love them like that.
By their actions, they do to others what some previous others did to them and thus hurt them. And when a young person in counseling realizes to himself that he is in this vicious circle, the challenges and goals become both clearer and more demanding.
Working on yourself is a demanding and painstaking process. It takes a lot of insight and awareness of situations that have happened and are happening to make progress. What must be emphasized here - it is possible! People manage to be better, more aware, happier and more fulfilled. So that only one 'injured' person a month becomes aware of his pain and suffering, we made life easier for him and at least a few other people around him. And that is very possible!
"But how many things we carry with us. We never set a goal to get rid of the baggage, to be ourselves. Do not drag past experiences behind you. In fact, don't even drag good experiences with you. Learn what it means to experience something fully." (Anthony de Mello)
"What if I bury this?"
Our brain is programmed so that it only wants to survive in this world. It reacts best to dangers - then all the sensors are on. When these sensors are turned on too often, it can happen that we lose control over them and react to everything around us as if it were a danger, and even when it comes to some phenomenal opportunity. Realistically, you can screw up a lot of things in life. For some reason it doesn't happen, that is, the days aren't that bad when you add them all up. Experts say this is because 80% of the things we worry about never come true. To put it in layman's terms - the worst thing for you is to get an ax.
But really, what are you doing? Someone might laugh at you. Maybe someone will help you. Maybe someone close to you will be a little disappointed. You might let yourself down. You may be very sad and miserable. What else can you "perhaps" add, if you really think you can't survive?
At some point, we humans 'grow up' and start thinking that every mistake is the end of the world. It is interesting that as children we learned from mistakes, and we even laughed at some of them. What would happen if a child who, the first time he falls after standing up, never tries to take a step again? Who would walk today?
For the brain, the old Dalmatian word applies - uvik contra. When he goes negative, you turn it positive. You wouldn't believe it, the brain immediately surrenders when you approach it like this. So instead of "what if I bury?", try with "what if I succeed?" It may sound simple, but we leave it up to you to describe your experience of this exercise.
"No love can fulfill a person who does not love himself."
All of us look for in others what we lack and what we desire, and at the same time we do not question whether such something in us can survive in the long term if it depends on others to exist. We cross our own and other people's boundaries a little, we get attached to others and create hard knots, we get lost and search a little, we fall apart and gather a little - and all of this is mostly perishable.
Because... People are transitory, they come and go - often without notice! They leave something behind, and take some things with them. They have a right to it, they live their life. And then you realize that you remain your own best (or worst) (un)friend - it depends on how you treated yourself. As one song says: "I can't escape or bypass myself, I have to learn to live with myself." Give yourself time to be with yourself 'one on one', and even if you fall apart from sadness, you will see that by accepting your weaknesses, you still give yourself the right to love - both yourself and others exactly as they are. Physiologically, biologically, anatomically - your heart can really withstand the sadness you fear. Mentally, psychologically, in life - with time you will learn many lessons, love yourself